The Sun Will Shine Again

Let me begin this by saying I am by no means an expert in PTSD and depression.  What I am is someone who has found that if one is to ever feel better or to get better you have to admit that you have a problem.  Honestly, I am not someone who is very open about my feelings and my circumstances.  My family says that I am one of those people who they can never tell what's wrong because I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve.

Today, that is about to change.  After reading the posts of some of my fellow veterans I am hoping that by sharing what is going on with me, and what steps I have taken to help me with these feelings it can help someone else.  Although, I don't have PTSD, I do have my bouts with depression.  I suffer from a disease known as fibromyalgia and one of the main symptoms of this disease is depression.  There is still some confusion as to whether fibromyalgia causes depression or whether depression causes fibromyalgia.  At this point I don’t really care which causes which.  All I know is that my body is constantly in pain and there are days that I don’t want to get out of the bed.

I have suffered from this condition for about 6 years now, but lately the depression episodes have gotten more frequent.  The funny thing is, I don’t feel I have anything to be depressed about and that is one of the ways that lifts the fog from my mind and heart.  Even though there are times when my money is short, and my bills are long; my body hurts so bad that the only way I can get up is by popping a couple of ibuprofen; my son is currently incarcerated; and I really need a new job, I know there are others who are suffering so much more than I am.

Let me be honest and put this out there now, I love the Lord.  God is my source and without Him I don’t know where I would be.  I know there are many of you that don’t believe in Him, but I choose to believe and I pray that the peace that He gives to me will also be transferred to you.  I never ask anyone to believe what I do and even though you may not I continuously pray on your behalf.  When I feel the weight of depression coming down on me I instantly begin to look around at the many blessings that I do have, compared to the problems.

As of today I don’t feel as if I need to speak with anyone but I promise if I did there would be no shame in my doing so.  I would do it in a heartbeat.  For those of you who are suffering in silence and feel you are alone, know that you are not, and know that someone is praying on your behalf.  If you are able to get services through the VA do so now.  Don’t let your pain overcome you and make you believe that there is no room for the sun to shine in your life.  Remember when things are darkest in your life, the SON will rise and shine for you.

As always, thank you for your support.  TTYL-Be blessed.