Even though I've been out of the military for quite a few years, I've been blessed to stay in contact or been able to reconnect with some of those who I considered to be my friend. We went through some things together and had a lot of great fun together. And as close as we were I never noticed what one of them was going through and really didn't know the full story until yesterday.
My friend lives in Savannah and had to come up to the VA today for her BVA hearing. She called and asked if she could spend the night with me and of course I told her yes. When she got here we did a lot of small talk, just about what we were going through, our families and that sort of thing.
I assumed that she was going to the BVA because of a physical injury. In all the years I've known her I never knew she had one, but I decided I would ask. I was totally blindsided when she told me that she was going for PTSD. Now mind you, I'm one of those ignorant people who believe that you can only get PTSD if you've been in a war or in some type of terrible accident. As she explained to me the physical and verbal abuse that she suffered at the hands of her husband I was dumbstruck. Then to add insult to injury she told me about how her Chief Petty Officer had also harassed her. Not at just one duty station, but at two different ones, and how no one took her seriously enough to do anymore than slap him on the wrist.
My friend doesn't know I'm sharing her story, but I hope she is okay with it. And in the interest of fairness I'll share my own. In no way did I ever suffer what she did physically, but the verbal abuse from my ex-husband had me terrified for a time. I even lost my 1st home to foreclosure because he wouldn't leave and the police wouldn't make him leave. I had to make a choice of whether I wanted to protect me or if I wanted to keep a piece of property. The choice was very easy for me to make.
To all of you suffering in silence I beg and plead with you to do something about it. Now, many may think that there are only men who are abusers, but be assured, there are some women out there who are abusive themselves. Whatever your situation I implore you to seek help. No matter where you are, there is a way out. And whatever you do, please stop saying that it was your fault. No one has the right to put their hands on you in a violent manner. I don't care how mad I am at someone I will not put my hands on them because this opens me up to them possibly hitting me back, and I think I am way to pretty to get beat.
The military also offers you a way out. I received the following information in a recent email:
Every single day in the United States, approximately three women are killed by an intimate partner. What can you do to take a stand against domestic violence?
Visit NO MORE for more information and ideas.
#StopIPV #SuperBowl501 #Caring4Vets
With VA's Caregiver Support Line assistance is just a quick phone call away. Whether you're in need of immediate assistance or have questions about what services you may be eligible for, the caring licensed professionals who answer the support line can:
If you're just getting started with VA, calling the Caregiver Support Line is a great first step to take to learn more about the support that's available to you.
While this says it is for caregivers, the help and support is for anyone who finds themselves in an abusive situation.
As always, thank you for your support.
TTYL - be blessed.
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